Why didn’t I tell him?

That’s beautiful, ❤ I love it !

Sophie And Alie

He was my perilous shelter,

On a cold April night,

He was my cursed blessing,

During a chaotic nightmare,

He was my poisonous remedy,

After a disastrous hurricane.

Why do I find comfort in him?

He was my brightest star,

A constellation I dubbed my favorite.

He was my favorite book,

One I’d never get tired of reading.

He was my entirety,

A soul that completed me.

Why didn’t I tell him?

Because I will never be his shelter, blessing, and remedy.

I will never be his brightest star, his favorite book, his entirety.



View original post


What’s more important, technology, or our hands ?


Recently, I paid a visit to the bookstore located in my university, and as I searched the shelves for a new book to read, I stumbled upon this tiny book, “The book of questions”. I went through the pages, and I saw that each page contained a specific question that you could ask yourself, your friends, or your family members. This book can be used as a game, however, I am using it as a “writing prompt”. The first question says “technology has become a part of us. Would you rather lose the use of all motorised vehicles, all telecommunication devices, or one of your hands ?

I believe that’s hard to answer at this moment. We have grown so accustomed to using technology that we never thought about what it would feel like to live without them. Technology has helped us, and it also brought us troubles. Personally speaking, I believe that it is better to live without technology. Just like how our parents and grandparents lived without it, we too can live without it. I had a teacher in uni who told me that she doesn’t have a television at her house, she doesn’t like to use her laptop, and she is not fond of using a mobile phone for something other than making important calls. We asked her, “but what do you do for fun ?”, she said “I read a book”. I believe it is easy to live without technology, because I myself have gone through a 3 month technology detox. I eliminated all use of technological devices. For 3 months, I did not used my BlackBerry, I did not use my PC, and I also stopped watching TV. Instead, I shifted all my attention to my studies. The purpose of the experiment was to see what was the root of my low grades problem, was I naturally unintelligent, or was there an external factor that was affecting my school grades? In my senior year in high-school, I had low grades, I always struggled with my grades, however, when I stopped the use of technology, my grades started to go higher than they used to be. My performance in school wasn’t the only thing that changed drastically. I got less headaches, less neck/back pains, the pain I felt in my eyes due to the light from my phone was reduced, and I also felt that I was a “happier” person, because for once in my life, I was feeling “free”. Free from what ? you ask….Free from the chains of technology.

Can we really live without technology ? I guess the answer would be “Yes”. Life without technology was hard but simple in some kind of way. Before technology, people visited each other, before technology, the whole family sat in the living room together, they knew what was going on in the house. Before technology, parties were for socialising, it was not for sitting on your phone all day, texting, and taking selfies with others. Before technology, children played OUTSIDE. If I had the chance to build a time traveling machine, I would go back in time to when there was no technology whatsoever. (Yes, I will use technology to go back in time to when there was no technology)



Just make the right choice…(Uni rant)

If you are a sophomore in university, and now is the time for you to choose the subject you want to major in in Uni, make sure not to pick something you wouldn’t enjoy. Just make sure that whatever major you want to major in must be enjoyable and beneficial for your life. There are so many choices offered to you by the university, you could choose something that most people would major in, for example “business” and “media”, or you could choose to major in a field that isn’t that well known. I will tell you something important, it is something I wish I did when I had the chance to do it….”Follow your dreams” ! Yes, it’s that simple, just follow your dreams. I did a mistake, and now I regret it, and my mistake was that I chose the wrong major. I thought I really wanted it, but after 3.5 years, I realized that this wasn’t really what I was expecting, and that this wasn’t what I aimed for. The major that I chose was international affairs. I liked it at the beginning because I was curious, my curiosity drove me to major into something that would clarify to me how the international system works. Truth be told, there were some aspects of this major that I enjoyed, however, I later on felt that it is such a heavy, sort of dry subject to learn about for 4 years. I made a mistake when I chose international affairs, because this wasn’t what I was truly passionate about. I can proudly say that what I am mostly passionate about was “Art”.  I started drawing at a very young age, and that was the only thing that made me happy. I was going to major in art, but unfortunately, I listened to the voices of people that did not know much about art. “Art will not get you anywhere” “What are you going to do for a living if you majored in art ?” I listened to them, and I neglected what I was passionate about. I still wish if I blocked their voices, and chose art major instead.

The lesson that you should get from this is “do what makes you happy”, “follow your dreams”, “live life for your own self”. No one should tell you how to live, no one should make your choices for you. When you reach uni, you become the master of your own choices. I believe that your parents must not choose the major for you (that’s not my case), you should choose the major you want, because THIS IS YOUR LIFE. Don’t major in something just ’cause your friend is majoring in it, because chances are, you might really hate that major, or you might not be as bright as your friend is in that specific major. Always choose something that you feel would be ideal for you. Remember, even if you did not like the major you chose, do not quit ! I did have the urge to quit, but I did not succumb to that urge. Instead, I reminded myself that I needed to continue, and if I quit now, I will not get a degree. Getting my degree is the only thing that is urging me to continue studying something that I don’t want to study. Finally, before you choose your major, just ask yourself “do I really want to study that for 4 years ?” “Is that going to benefit me later on ?”….and remember, think thoroughly before you choose.


identity · politicsofidentity · random · ranting

Who Am I

Who am I ?

I really don’t know who I am. I thought I knew who I am, I thought I knew what I was. When asked “Who do you think you are ?”, I answered, I am an artist, photographer, and I am also an amateur writer. I was told “you’re wrong, this is not what you really are”, and that made me feel confused. If I am not an artist, a photographer, and a writer, what could I be ? These are the only things I know best about myself, these were the only identities that I held on to for many years, and now you come and tell me that I am wrong, and that this is not really who I am ?! Who am I ? Tell me how can I answer this question of identity ? Can I find my true identity if I sold all my material possessions, and search for the wisdom of the sages, like Julian from “The Monk Who Sold His Ferarri” did ? How can “true” identity be found ?


Nostalgia, and Sadness…

I was venturing through the atrium, looking for a spot to chill in. The university became so packed, that it is hard for us to find a place to sit in. Every seating area is dominated by a specific group, if you sat in their seating area, you would be stared at. To avoid this scenario, I usually look for a subtle, and isolated seating area. I came across an empty spot, and I just placed my belongings on the chair, and then I felt emotional. This particular seating area used to be “OUR” territory, my friends, and my sister’s friends used to gather in this area. We used to meet everyday in the break, we’d laugh with each other, talk with each other about random things, and we also used to eat lunch together. This was our spot, the same spot that we used to gather in 3.5 years ago. I felt sad, because our group got disintegrated, most of the girls in our group found new groups, and only some of us remained. I wish if we stayed together till the end, I feel that now that it’s the end, there’s only few people that stayed from that group.