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My shadow

WARS & CALAMITIES

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Fade with me along the wind,

Let us grieve in unison,

Our faults are our own,

To leave or mend,

Our sorrows are evanescent,

And we can amend,

We’ll engrave our initials,

On ancient forest trees,

And fool the world into thinking,

We are real,

We’ll meet every twilight,

By the dreamlike lake,

Your eyes are my stars,

That guide me to my fate,

Caged in The Bermuda Triangle,

There’s no going back,

I chose one over a million,

Let loneliness attack,

The second you’re enchanted,

By my flawy face,

The blemishes on my face,

Are rendered gone,

Just like the moon’s departure,

Every dawn,

Do they not see you with every sunrise?

Spreading your wings across town?

Do they not see you the way I do?

When you’re here, I do not frown.

But I see you,

You’re here with me,

You shan’t rue,

We’re meant to be,

They…

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Anxiety


I have been suffering from anxiety for 5 years now, and it is still going on. I was in high school when I got my very first panic attack. We were having a quiz, and I started feeling weird, my heart started beating faster, I had shortness of breath, and it felt as if I was suffocating. I did not know anything about panic attacks back then, and that’s why I was so scared. One time, I got a panic attack, and my dad was there to see it, he thought that I had cardiovascular issues, and instead of taking me to a psychiatrist, he took me to a cardiovascular doctor. The doctor told us that I might be suffering from anxiety, he said that maybe I am feeling anxious because it is my last year in school, and there’s a lot of school-related things to worry about. He reassured me that it’s okay, and that everyone gets it sometimes, and that made me feel better for a short amount of time. I kept getting these attacks all through 12 grade, but as soon as I graduated, these attacks were reduced to a minimum.

My freshman year in uni started off perfectly, I didn’t get any panic attacks, at least that’s what I remember, but my final years in uni weren’t so pleasant, because the anxiety and the panic attacks came back when I started doing my internship program. I hadn’t experienced this kind of anxiety before, it was so tough, and it destroyed my life. I felt so sick, and so weak. In the process of preparing for the internship, my mind started questioning whether I am going to pass or fail the course, I also worried a lot about whether the internship site is going to accept me or not. I also began to worry about finishing all the tasks in the limited time that I had. it was the most hectic 8 weeks I have ever had in my whole life. One thing I realized about my anxiety is that it always comes to me when I have a lot of things to do and there’s limited time to finish the tasks given to me. I am scared that this is going to get worse from now, and that made me contemplate the idea of seeing a therapist.

Going to therapists can be a hard thing, I personally see that it’s hard, because I am a little bit worried about what people might say about me, some ignorant people might think that I have decided to visit a therapist because I am crazy or something. You are not crazy if you’re seeing a therapist, it just means that you have a problem, and you are trying to help yourself, and most importantly, you are trying to fix yourself for the sake of other people. I want to go to therapy for my anxiety issues, because it is getting out of hand. Sometimes, I would get worried about future things, things that didn’t even happen, and this makes me so crazy to the point that it makes me lose focus of everything. I really need to find a way to manage this. I have tried reading articles on how to manage anxiety, and how to stop my mind from overthinking, but I don’t see that it’s helping. I wouldn’t know about anxiety if it wasn’t for some youtubers like Zoe Sugg “Zoella”, Joey Graceffa, Lisbug, and many others who have addressed this in some of their vlogs. That made me think, if they can address this personal issue in front of millions of fans, then what is stopping me from talking to a therapist about this ?